Today would be one of those days...it follows a string of long, hard days. I can honestly think of nothing that is harder than mothering. I've done a lot of things; canoed through level 4 rapids in an open canoe, hiked a few 14ers in Colorado, run marathons, worked at a marriage, had a successful career in Tax, passed the CPA exam...but this is the hardest thing I've done. It's not that it's just hard, it's that the emotional investment is SO much bigger than I can even begin to understand, and I'll never know if I'm doing the right thing until my kids turn 30...
Everett has a hard time sleeping, and when he does sleep he wakes up between 4:30 and 5:30 in the morning. So, we have decided after several weeks of this and me finally being so exhausted and stressed that I broke out in shingles, that we'd push is bedtime WAY back and see if that helped. So...he got 9 hours of sleep last night, which...he usually does better with 11. I thought that would mean he'd have a great nap, but to the contrary, he refused to sleep. I told him he'd lose all of his TV watching time and any special treats if he didn't sleep and he just laughed. He thought that was funny. Which just made me angry... Anyway, now he's behaving like a hellion and I sometimes just don't know what to do with that. There are days when I just want to throw my hands in the air and give my resignation. But that's just what it is that makes parenting so hard...there IS no out...you HAVE to stick to it. Not that I would want out because I love my boys to death...I just want a day or 5 by myself.
I guess it's time to take a vacation...
Until then, I'll just enjoy the 5 minutes it took me to write this and the hot cocoa I drank...
And now it's back to managing my hurricane...
*sigh*
He IS an adorable hurricane...even if he's tired.
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